you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
