Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
