At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
