do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
