glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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