I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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