Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
