After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
