Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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