She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
