Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's like a pop up book from hell.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize