I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
