i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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