Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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