Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
