is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
