Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
