3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
