please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
