Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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