OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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