Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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