Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
