Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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