how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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