Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
