I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
