He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
