I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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