Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
