I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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