I am puke
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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