i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
