Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
