You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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