Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
