At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
