just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize