If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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