It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
