I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
