...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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