Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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