I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
