Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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