Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no, he came in my armpit
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize