Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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