so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
