Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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