Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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