haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
