Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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