We won't sleep together?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
