Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
