____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
