The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
