Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
