i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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