He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
