oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
