You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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