i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize