I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
