In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
