yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
