I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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